So before little Talbot Island you have to take the St Johns river ferry. It's about a 6 second ride but while waiting in the line up I met a guy who complimented me on the van and as always, we got to talking. He is one of the very few people from down here (that I have met) who has been north of the border. He has done the east coast leg that I am about to do and it was great to have something in common to break the ice between us.
He lives in St Mary, GA which is on the way to Savannah (sort of) and he invited me to stay at his place if I decided to head that way. Never one to refuse an offer, I did.
We chilled out for a bit at his place and talked about my trip and he asked a question, from experience, that reminded me so much of the way Tim Held was when he was mentoring me as an upstart Student Advisor. He said "So, why now?"
There are a plethora of reasons and truth be told I'm not exactly sure what I answered...but I do know that it left me thinking, for days on end. Why now?
It's easy to say "because I can"...but that's not really true. While I am taking this trip and my life is moving in one direction, all the effort I put into saving money and stashing for retirement is moving in another. I'm not going broke or anything but it took a serious amount of mental upheaval for a guy like me to make such a dramatic move. I'm pretty constant in life and this certainly was not consistant with my regular patterns.
That was one of the biggest reasons though, patterns. I guess on hindsight I had square pegged my idea of what life was going to be like into the proverbial round hole. And no matter how you try...it's not going to fit. So you either have to shave the peg, find a new board or start looking at life differently altogether.
I don't want to get deep here or anything but the idea of having it all "not work out", not the girl, the job, the "dream", really is a nice thing on a lot of levels. After meeting with Lester in Chattanooga it took on a different level of meaning for me. An acceptance of the things you cannot change does not mean you should continue to accept the patterns that you can change just because they are comfortable. As my friend and mentor Lantz said to me one day "Stop being a fish". And I didn't know what he meant until started thinking about fish and how almost always they look for the easiest spot to be in. And I guess another side to that is that I was playing it easy but I was also damn good at my job...which made it feel even easier to pull the plug and say asta la vista...because easy hadn't gotten me what I wanted so far...and more easy wasn't going to change that. So I opted for a type of fresh start.
It's not a fresh start, like when you sit around and say things like "If I could go back with what I knew now". No, it's not a dreamers start...it's a fresh start. A challenge. I'm going forward into a new part of Canada to attempt to "start again".
Some people get it, some don't. Most people do this while they are younger and I can appreciate how awesome that would be but now after living the life of an "adult" I think I am able to appreciate this in a different way. Not "more", just different. My experiences on this trip have been life changing and without the 20yrs after highschool to mature into who I am I'm not sure it would be as meaningful. So why, because now was the right time, unforced, unrestricted, unhindered and unwilling to stay "safe" any longer...why is a personal thing that maybe even a bunch of blog blather won't explain.
When you look around the blog world...it's not just me out here looking for something. There are hundreds, nay, hundreds of thousands of blogs of people in pursuit of something that wasn't in the box that was set in front of them. It is inspirational to see them all, some are touring the worlds, some local vagabonds, some are out there because they have no choice, some have chosen to live in a different way that isn't really socially acceptable, some are young, some are old...one thing is found commonly with everyone...they asked the question "why" at some point (or better yet...why not) and like Inception...once an idea is started it's near impossible to stop.
So here I am...having the time of my life at a point where I have a lot of life left and if this sets the tone for the future...well.. Hell Yeah!
He lives in St Mary, GA which is on the way to Savannah (sort of) and he invited me to stay at his place if I decided to head that way. Never one to refuse an offer, I did.
We chilled out for a bit at his place and talked about my trip and he asked a question, from experience, that reminded me so much of the way Tim Held was when he was mentoring me as an upstart Student Advisor. He said "So, why now?"
There are a plethora of reasons and truth be told I'm not exactly sure what I answered...but I do know that it left me thinking, for days on end. Why now?
It's easy to say "because I can"...but that's not really true. While I am taking this trip and my life is moving in one direction, all the effort I put into saving money and stashing for retirement is moving in another. I'm not going broke or anything but it took a serious amount of mental upheaval for a guy like me to make such a dramatic move. I'm pretty constant in life and this certainly was not consistant with my regular patterns.
That was one of the biggest reasons though, patterns. I guess on hindsight I had square pegged my idea of what life was going to be like into the proverbial round hole. And no matter how you try...it's not going to fit. So you either have to shave the peg, find a new board or start looking at life differently altogether.
I don't want to get deep here or anything but the idea of having it all "not work out", not the girl, the job, the "dream", really is a nice thing on a lot of levels. After meeting with Lester in Chattanooga it took on a different level of meaning for me. An acceptance of the things you cannot change does not mean you should continue to accept the patterns that you can change just because they are comfortable. As my friend and mentor Lantz said to me one day "Stop being a fish". And I didn't know what he meant until started thinking about fish and how almost always they look for the easiest spot to be in. And I guess another side to that is that I was playing it easy but I was also damn good at my job...which made it feel even easier to pull the plug and say asta la vista...because easy hadn't gotten me what I wanted so far...and more easy wasn't going to change that. So I opted for a type of fresh start.
It's not a fresh start, like when you sit around and say things like "If I could go back with what I knew now". No, it's not a dreamers start...it's a fresh start. A challenge. I'm going forward into a new part of Canada to attempt to "start again".
Some people get it, some don't. Most people do this while they are younger and I can appreciate how awesome that would be but now after living the life of an "adult" I think I am able to appreciate this in a different way. Not "more", just different. My experiences on this trip have been life changing and without the 20yrs after highschool to mature into who I am I'm not sure it would be as meaningful. So why, because now was the right time, unforced, unrestricted, unhindered and unwilling to stay "safe" any longer...why is a personal thing that maybe even a bunch of blog blather won't explain.
When you look around the blog world...it's not just me out here looking for something. There are hundreds, nay, hundreds of thousands of blogs of people in pursuit of something that wasn't in the box that was set in front of them. It is inspirational to see them all, some are touring the worlds, some local vagabonds, some are out there because they have no choice, some have chosen to live in a different way that isn't really socially acceptable, some are young, some are old...one thing is found commonly with everyone...they asked the question "why" at some point (or better yet...why not) and like Inception...once an idea is started it's near impossible to stop.
So here I am...having the time of my life at a point where I have a lot of life left and if this sets the tone for the future...well.. Hell Yeah!
No comments:
Post a Comment
Thank you!